Gaya Muslimah, perangai Naudzubillah
Hey guys and Assalamualaikum.
Straight to the topic. I've been known as the kind of "ustazah" or "mak mak" or "muslimah" since in my secondary school.
Not because I am pious or alim gila its just that I happened to be the "konon paling baik " among my friends. Living in KL is hard. Praise to Allah for giving me parents that's capable to handle my little grumpy tantrum.
Up till now, people seen me as "budak ni baik" by my attire. Yes, my tops are always loose and scarf will always covering the chest. It just happened I feel comfy in it.
But please, my dear readers and friends.
These ALLLL that you have seen has never proves that I AM A PIOUS PERSON. NEVER.
You have NEVER witnessed my wrongdoings and I am not ever proud to even admit it.
I am just a regular person. As well as other girls that you might label them as 'muslimah'.
Sometimes, or maybe most of the times I don't have second thought in cursing.
So when I say "what the f*ck" I sensed eerie aura looking at me. SORRY!
We all have that ' rebel ' feeling.
WE ALL DO.
It is not easy to maintain YOUR expectation of muslimah since mine has never passed.
I have my own bad habit and I myself aware how sinful it is. But, trust me.
All the muslimah have our own struggle. We struggled everyday to be the kind of muslimah.
Not for you. Not for me. But for Allah. Its hard, when your heart screaming wants to be like the hijabista and popular but you realize that it is wrong to 'tabarruj' and you kind of scared to do more sins you just realized how thick sins has hovering you.
We may passed the Aurah level.
Barely passed the Solat level.
Khusyu' level borderline.
So, stop labelling. We are not perfect. We are struggling too.
Dugaan kuat jugak tau.