I'm not working today. Sudden ache at my abdomen had really drains out my energy since last night. Couldn't even talk. Huuu
To me, maybe, its kifarah dosa. I've done lots of sins. So, its ok, this pain is just temporary. Though its damn hurt, but it will heals in no time.
The mind has stuck. Traffic jam is everywhere in every corner of the nervous system.
"What should I do?What have I done? "
These questions have been lingering in my head since the past 3 weeks now. And still, I have no answers to each of it.
The hunch is getting strong. The hunch of something 'not-so-good-things' will happen in nearest moment. To my surprise, I am not surprise at all. Maybe I'm kinda like expecting it. Just preparing myself for the worst. Both physical and emotional not to mention 'the heart' too will bleeds. Heavily.
People may think and say
"What a bitch this girl has become"
But they don't know, how much she bleeds through the journey. How much pain she had suffered. The wounds has never healed. How much dents and wrecks has her heart become. The emotion, has never been innormal state for quite a while. Everthing were in knots. Haywired. Dead ends everywhere.
You may not understand. Because you only the audience. You see with your eyes but you failed to observe. You hear with your ears but you failed to listen. You think with your brain but you failed to analyze.
Its not your fault anyway. Its just how humans react.
Those fine lines, not so fine at all. Its bold, dark. But eventually, those with the 'so-not-in-the-right-mind' will passed it.
Judge all you want. Coz what u ever care is only your pain. Others pain were just noise to your ears right?
So, don't bother anyway