Deepest shit

Assalamualaikum.

The title itself does not showing any positivity. However, I have always believe that God will never create something just for fun. There will be always.. always something good behind it.

Me at the edge of almost 26 years old. I think I am at my deepest shit so far.

I really can't think properly right now. It's like having two Pok Jib quarrelling in my head. Hahaha.

I even began isolating myself from my friends. I have a really smalllllllll circle of friends and now I began isolating them. Its really shitty that you feel so shit about yourself but you do not want anyone to know but you afraid it will shown so you decides just begone.

The only non relative person to me is him. We have gone through our ups and downs and now my deepest shit became his. His deepest shit became mine. He is doing well but I'm not. Maybe its just my emotional cracking head feeling but yeah he still stays.


I know I just can't rely on myself. Allah is my only one saviour.

I am sorry friends. I have never been that friendly anyway. Its like I came and whoosh gone.
Please know that I have my life to settle on.

Though I know no friends actually reading this but hey so what. This is my personal extracting feeling emotion diary.

Thank you Allah for this tests. I know I've done so many wrongdoings but yet You still loved me so much and put me in this tests so I will return back to You. Thank You, Allah.